Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize