I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
