We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
