That's intense
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
