the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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