You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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