Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
