She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Randomize
