No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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