Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
