But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
we have officially lost it.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
