idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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