is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
