I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
