He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
