dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
