I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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