Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
