Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Randomize
