I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
