im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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