make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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