Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Randomize