puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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