I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
