He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
