Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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