who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
