Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize