What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It's never too late to be topless.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Randomize
