Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
