it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
