I murdered the dance floor call the cops
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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