Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
