yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
