That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize