My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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