no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
