Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
