you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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