I'm so fucking centered right now
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
third nipple confirmed
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