you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
