I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You've changed since you got that strap on
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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