let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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