You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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