That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
