They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
