I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
