that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
