So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
