He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize