ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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