apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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