she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
