They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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