i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
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