Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
