found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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