but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize