I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize