WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Randomize