did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Randomize
