The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
