i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
